IS IT LOVE, LUST, OBSESSION OR I JUST SEE YOU AS A FRIEND AND WHETHER A RELATIONSHIP CAN BE BASED ON ANY OF THESE?

This is the second part of the message on RELATIONSHIP. To really enjoy this message, I will suggest you first read the message on relationship. You will remember very well that I stated in the beginning of the message on relationship that I have never been in relationship before and that the knowledge I had on relationship was from experiences of friends who were in a relationship. Well, it’s no more the case now. I got into a relationship some few weeks ago and it lasted for just two days. Yes, I mean just two days. You might be wondering what happened? Right!!!!! And that brings us to today’s message “IS IT LOVE, LUST, OBSESSION OR I JUST SEE YOU AS A FRIEND AND WHETHER A RELATIONSHIP CAN BE BASED ON ANY OF THESE?”. Let me try to define some key words in today’s message. According to the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, Third Edition, LOVE means to like another adult very much and be romantically and sexually attracted to them or to have strong feelings of liking a friend or person in your family. From the same source, LUST is a very strong sexual desire, OBSESSION means someone that you think about all the time and a FRIEND is a person who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family. Now with these definitions I believe we can set the ball rolling. Which of these should be the basis for a relationship? Can one propose for a relationship if he or she sees someone as just a FRIEND? For instance, you’ve been friends for two years and have gotten to know each other very well. Can you go ahead and propose for relationship even though you are just friends? May be you love that someone as just a friend or like that someone as just a friend. Can you still propose? Well, as a motivator and counselor, this is what I suggest you do. You can go ahead and propose for a relationship. Friendship forms the basis of a relationship and not LOVE. I believe that love grows with time, comes naturally and diminishes with time but God’s love is everlasting. With time you will be in love with that someone and you will start seeing him or her as more than a friend. You just need to be patient. Can one propose for a relationship if he or she is OBSESSED about someone? Well, as a motivator and counselor, I will say no because you can cause more harm than good to yourself and to that someone. This obsession can make you more jealous than you can think of and in your attempt of dealing with it you can cause harm to yourself or to that someone. Some even go to the extent of killing because of obsession. Rather what I will encourage you to do is to pray to God to remove that feeling from you. I believe in prayer a lot and it works. All you need to do is to believe and pray. Can one propose for a relationship if he or she LUST after someone? Well, as a motivator and counselor, I will again say no because your interest in that someone will die out immediately you lose what that someone have that you are lusting after. For instance, let’s say you lust after someone who is beautiful or handsome. When that person loses his or her handsomeness or beauty, you will leave immediately because what you are lusting after is no more there. Let me create another scenario. You meet a lady who is improperly dressed with her breast and buttocks well exposed. Naturally as a man you get sexually aroused but if you lose control and lust after her. Immediately you succeed in having sex with her that ends it and you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her again. That is lust at work. Finally, can one propose for a relationship if he or she LOVES someone? Well, as a motivator and counselor, I will say a big yes. No questions about this? Right!!!! Ok. Well, I’m interested in the other side of the coin and that is what if that someone doesn’t LOVE YOU OR JUST LUST AFTER YOU OR OBSESSED ABOUT YOU OR JUST SAW YOU AS A FRIEND, WILL YOU STILL PROPOSE FOR RELATIONSHIP? After all that we’ve learnt, you will all agree with me that YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD AND PROPOSE RELATIONSHIP TO THAT SOMEONE THAT JUST SAW YOU AS A FRIEND AND FORGET ABOUT THE OTHERS. LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL AND NOT RECIPROCAL. You can be in love with someone who does not love you but rather just see you as a friend. Someone can also be in love with you and you will not be in love with that someone but rather you just see that someone as just a friend. So you can love someone without that person necessarily loving you. In a nut shell, my relationship lasted for just two days because of this same issue. I’m back to being single again and I’ve learnt my lesson. So as a motivator and counselor I will encourage that you get into relationship with the one that loves you and you just see as a friend and with time you will be in love again!!!!!!!!!!!!!