WHAT IS LOVE?

Hello guys!!!! It’s been a while. Hope you all doing good. Just had to take a break to finish some stuffs. Just finished and couldn’t wait to publish something for you. Some few months after the message entitled “I KNOW YOU HAVE YOUR WILL POWER, PLANS, GOALS, DREAMS OR ASPIRATIONS BUT NEVERTHELESS THE WILL OF GOD SHALL STAND” that today’s message dropped but had to finish some stuffs before. Today’s message is about love. So I decided to coin my own definitions for love from mathematics, science and English language. In English Language, I can say love is a verb and the same time a noun. In Mathematics, I can also say Love is infinite. In Science, I can say Love is a chemistry. You will find out the meaning of these three definitions for love by the end of the message. Let me add something from a dictionary. According to the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, Third Edition, Love means to like another adult very much and be romantically and sexually attracted to them or to have strong feelings of liking a friend or person in your family. DESPITE ALL THESE DEFINITIONS I DON’T THINK THAT IS WHAT LOVE IS. SO THEN WHAT IS LOVE?????Follow me and by the end of my message you will know what love is. There are so many schools of thought about this four letter word. Some are scriptural and others are peoples’ opinion. I will restrict myself to these two schools of thought to proof to you what I think love is. Before I get you a cup of water to drink, let me first get you a chair to sit on first by taking you through the kinds of love. These kinds of love are from the Ancient Greeks. The Greeks refer to the kinds of love as different words for love. In other books there are four kinds of love but I will talk about six kinds of love. I took this information on the kinds of love from an article posted by Roman Krznaric on 27th. December, 2013, this originally appeared in Sojourners. The six kinds of love are as follows; The first kind of love is called Eros, or sexual passion. The first kind of love eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. But the Greeks didn't always think of it as something positive, as we tend to do today. In fact, eros was viewed as a dangerous, fiery, and irrational form of love that could take hold of you and possess you—an attitude shared by many later spiritual thinkers, such as the Christian writer C.S. Lewis. Eros involved a loss of control that frightened the Greeks. This is odd, because losing control is precisely what many people now seek in a relationship. Don't we all hope to fall "madly" in love? The second kind of love is Philia, or deep friendship. The second variety of love philia or friendship, which the Greeks valued far more than the base sexuality of eros. Philia concerned the deep comradely friendship that developed between brothers in arms who had fought side by side on the battlefield. It was about showing loyalty to your friends, sacrificing for them, as well as sharing your emotions with them. (Another kind of philia, sometimes called storge, embodied the love between parents and their children.) We can all ask ourselves how much of this comradely philia we have in our lives. It's an important question in an age when we attempt to amass "friends" on Facebook or "followers" on Twitter—achievements that would have hardly impressed the Greeks. The third kind of love is Ludus, or playful love. This was the Greeks' idea of playful love, which referred to the affection between children or young lovers. We've all had a taste of it in the flirting and teasing in the early stages of a relationship. But we also live out our ludus when we sit around in a bar bantering and laughing with friends, or when we go out dancing. Dancing with strangers may be the ultimate ludic activity, almost a playful substitute for sex itself. Social norms may frown on this kind of adult frivolity, but a little more ludus might be just what we need to spice up our love lives. The fourth kind of love is Agape, or love for everyone. The fourth love, and perhaps the most radical, was agape or selfless love. This was a love that you extended to all people, whether family members or distant strangers. Agape was later translated into Latin as caritas, which is the origin of our word "charity." C.S. Lewis referred to it as "gift love," the highest form of Christian love. But it also appears in other religious traditions, such as the idea of mettā or "universal loving kindness" in Theravāda Buddhism. There is growing evidence that agape is in a dangerous decline in many countries. Empathy levels in the U.S. have declined sharply over the past 40 years, with the steepest fall occurring in the past decade. We urgently need to revive our capacity to care about strangers. The fifth kind of love is Pragma, or longstanding love. Another Greek love was the mature love known as pragma. This was the deep understanding that developed between long-married couples. Pragma was about making compromises to help the relationship work over time, and showing patience and tolerance. The psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said that we expend too much energy on "falling in love" and need to learn more how to "stand in love." Pragma is precisely about standing in love—making an effort to give love rather than just receive it. With about a third of first marriages in the U.S. ending through divorce or separation in the first 10 years, the Greeks would surely think we should bring a serious dose of pragma into our relationships. The sixth kind of love is Philautia, or love of the self . The Greek's sixth variety of love was philautia or self-love. And the clever Greeks realized there were two types. One was an unhealthy variety associated with narcissism, where you became self-obsessed and focused on personal fame and fortune. A healthier version enhanced your wider capacity to love. The idea was that if you like yourself and feel secure in yourself, you will have plenty of love to give others (as is reflected in the Buddhist-inspired concept of "self-compassion"). Or, as Aristotle put it, "All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man's feelings for himself." So what is love??????? Now that I’m done talking about the kinds of love let’s move on and look at the two different schools of thought. These two schools of thought cut across the different kinds of love hence why I took you through it earlier on. The first one I will talk about is the scriptural one. I will be a bit bias and visit the Holy Bible since I’m a Christian. Apologies to my readers from the other religions. I take the scriptural reading from 1Corithians 13:1-13 (NKJV) and it reads “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” So what is love???????? The second school of thought is by a guy I listened to from an audio I received from a friend who did not introduce himself hence I can’t really acknowledge him but big ups to him wherever he is and it reads; “It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. May be God want us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Love is when you take away the feeling; the passion and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. When the door of happiness closes, another door opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the kind you can just be with; never say a word and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had. It is true that we don’t know what we’ve got till we lose it. But it is also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart. But if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours. There are things you would love to hear that you will never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from. But don’t be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from their heart. Never say goodbye if you still want to try. Never give up if you still think you can go on. Never say you don’t love a person anymore if you can’t let go. Love comes to those who still hope although they have been disappointed, to those who still believe although they have been betrayed, to those who still need to love although they have been hurt before and to those who have the courage and faith to build trust again. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. But it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for Wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Hope you find someone that makes you smile” So what is love?????? Now what’s my take on all this? As a motivator and counselor I will say; For friendship, you might have a couple of friends. Some good and some bad. Some may claim they love you but will turn you down when you need their help the most. Again some may claim they love you but speak ill of you in your absence to your other friends backbiting you left right and center with nowhere to turn to. Again you may have a friend who can’t forgive you for the little offence yet claims he or she loves you. Funny enough you have to love them back despite all this. So what is love???? For family, you might have uncles, aunties, cousins, nephews , brothers, sisters and so on who will claim they love you but will speak ill of you in your absence to other family members gossiping left right and center with news of you everywhere. Some family members looking out for their own selfish interest as if they are looking out for you and yet still claim they love you. Surprisely you have to love them back despite all these. So what is love????? For relationship, you might be in a relationship with someone who is just interested in the favor he or she will get from you but still claims he or she loves you. Again you will be in a relationship with someone who claims he or she loves you but will tell you tomorrow that he or she will break up with you without thinking about it. Again you will be in a relationship with someone who claims he or she loves you but will change his or her what’s up display picture to another person’s own and change the status to my loving and caring boyfriend or girlfriend tomorrow. You still have to love them back despite all these. So what is love????? Not leaving out our work places, church, and school. For our work places you might have colleagues who speak ill of you in your absence. Sabotaging you to get a promotion and backbiting you to paint a good picture of themselves and so on. Despite all these they claim they love you. Again you have to love them back even though it hurts. For our churches there are a lot going on there. You are a church member who is to be promoted to the position of a Deacon or Deaconess but your church Elder tells the board you are not ready since there is a misunderstanding or grudge between you and the church Elder who claims he loves you. You are in the church choir and you had a misunderstanding with the choir master. Due to this you have left the choir whiles that special voice of yours is needed by the church but you still claim you love the church. Let love ourselves and everything will be fine. In school you might be having a text book which a friend is not having because he or she can’t afford to buy. He or she comes to you and you turn him or her down. Your friend is broke and you have some cash to spare but you refuse to give when your friend asks you yet you claim you love him or her. So what is love????? As a motivator and counselor, I know it tough to love them but you have to. I am going through similar issues. Some few minutes after I broke up with my girlfriend after 10months of relationship I wrote this message. I am not a saint. I am equally as guilty as you are. I fall short of all that I have written above. Together let’s work to love one another. So wherever you are just know that I understand you and we are in this together. So let’s still love them back no matter how much they hurt us or how bad it is. Let me now explain the definitions I gave earlier that are those that I coined. Love is a noun because it can be the name of something. Again love is an action word which makes it a verb. Love is infinite because it has so many meanings. Love is a chemistry because it brings some kind of belongingness and the feeling of some kind of emptiness in the absence of one another. As a motivator and counselor, after second thought I think I will side with the mathematical definition I coined earlier on and give it the Queen’s language version which is LOVE IS AMBIGUOUS!!!!!